


A Brandybuck and a Took

by MerryLilHobbit



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Family, Friendship, Hobbits, Light Angst, Post-War of the Ring, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-04 12:53:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4138314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerryLilHobbit/pseuds/MerryLilHobbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of one-shots written in no particular order on the lives of Merry and Pippin after the quest of the ring. And, really, life was never going to be dull where the two of them were involved. NO SLASH! Canon with Tolkien's writings. With Merry/Estella and Pippin/Diamond. Reviews greatly appreciated</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Forbidden Lass

**Author's Note:**

> I just adore Merry and Pippin. I've seen the movies, of course, but I've tried to make it more applicable to the books so I've tried to use the correct ages.
> 
> Just to be clear, the characters in age order and birth year are:
> 
> Fredegar "Fatty" was born in SR 1380  
> Merry was born in SR 1382  
> Estella was born in SR 1385  
> Pippin was born in SR 1390  
> Diamond was born in SR 1395
> 
> Sam and Rosie's first child, Elanor, was born in SR 1421, March 25th. Frodo and Bilbo left for the undying lands in SR 1421, September 22nd.
> 
> If I've made a mistake, then please don't hesitate to point it out so I can correct it – other then that, enjoy!

Life after the adventure was never quite the same, and nowhere near as normal as it had been once before. Besides the departure of Frodo – and Uncle Bilbo too, for that matter – Sam had become a father in the March before, and there were no doubt more babes on the way; this left Merry and Pippin alone with only each other for friendly company once again.

Perhaps it was the adventure, or maybe the time that had passed during it, but it was certain that the two hobbits had matured considerably since they first set out. Many noticed their growth, and soon there were whispers all over Hobbiton regarding where they'd been, what they'd been doing: after all, it just wasn't natural for a hobbit to be of their heights, shattering any hopes they'd had of just 'slipping' back into normalcy.

Oh well, they reasoned one night in The Green Dragon as they each nursed a drink, at least they had each other – and Sam to some extent too, for he continued to live nearby and sometimes take some time away to speak to them.

Merry, being the older of the two, was the first that became increasingly interested in the lasses of the Shire – and not for quick encounters or drunken encounters while drunk at a celebration. His parents had been hoping he'd marry and settle down soon anyway, especially as he was getting older, and it was necessary to produce future heirs to become Masters of Buckland. Of course, who they had in mind for their son – the very next Master of Buckland, in fact, a rather prestigious title – was a far cry from the girl that was soon on Merry's mind.

"Estella Bolger?" Pippin asked, quite surprised; he was the first and only one that Merry confided his feelings to on the matter, being his most trusted friend and cousin. "As in Fatty's little sister?"

Merry went rather red. "Yes, as in Fatty's sister…What's wrong with her?"

"Nothing," Pippin amended quickly. "I suppose I would have never thought of her in that way, that's all."

And, truthfully, he hadn't; maybe he was too young or maybe he just had other things on his mind, but he certainly wasn't thinking of settling down. As for Estella Bolger…well, she was a pretty lass, Pippin supposed, but five years older than himself, and he had never seen her as more than his friend's sister.

Merry, on the other hand, was eight years older – and he clearly didn't see her in that way.

Pippin knew Merry's family well – after all, they were not only cousins but close friends too, and so he was as acquainted with Saradoc and Esmerelda Brandybuck almost as well as Merry was. They were loving parents, of course, but also respectable hobbits; they had a reputation to maintain. Pippin could only imagine what might happen if they found out that their only son had fallen in love with Estella; the Bolgers, while a wealthy family in their own right, were nowhere near the same rank as the Brandybuck family, especially after the Scouring of the Shire – the Bolgers' crops had been either destroyed or stolen by the Ruffians. Estella was not the kind of respectable lady that the Brandybucks would hope Merry to marry, that was for certain.

Merry and Pippin continued these discussions whenever they could see each other, usually in the evenings; Merry was spending his days either helping to run Buckland Hall in preparation for when he'd take over or, most importantly, trying to discover ways to see the girl of his fancy. From what Pippin could tell, the two had merely exchanged a few sentences from time to time since these feelings arose.

As for Merry, he found that those times he managed to converse with Estella over the following months were doing nothing to ease his attraction to her; he not only found her beautiful but funny and clever too, with a sharp mind. She didn't shy away from him like some lasses did, instead readily greeting him whenever they saw each other and showing no signs of shying away when he tried to sit closer to her. He, on the other hand, couldn't help but grow red in the face whenever thinking of her, of how she had to gaze up at him to make eye contact. He'd had more than one or two embarrassing dreams regarding her, so seeing her always caused his stomach to flip with excitement.

Merry was sure that if he had to settle down, he'd want to do it with Estella. He could even imagine it: a nice comfortable bed to share, perhaps in a home in Crickhollow, and acres of land to go with it. He imagined owning ponies and looking after them, each having a name, of having boats to sail on the river alongside the ferry - and maybe, in due time, some little lads and lasses to keep them company. It was what most (if not all) hobbits wanted in life, and Merry knew that he was willing to live it with Estella.

Because her family's farm had been scoured and stolen from while he and his friends had been away, Estella was soon helping her family by working - in the Green Dragon, as a matter of fact. Since Rosie had long since stopped working (thanks to the beautiful babes she and Sam were producing), Estella seemed to be taking over that role and pouring drinks (among other things) to earn some of their money back.

Merry made sure to go down to the Green Dragon every night just so that he could see her.

Sometimes he dragged Pippin along with him; his cousin wanted nothing more than to drink and party away after a long week, but was rebuffed when all that Merry wanted to do was watch Estella as she worked. Whenever she saw him she smiled, and it made his heart lift in his chest.

"You're no fun anymore, Merry," Pippin would jibe, giving him a poke in the ribs. "C'mon, have a drink - if you keep staring, she'll think there's something wrong with you."

But Merry never drank more than one ale or so; he didn't feel much like becoming drunk in front of the girl he fancied, knowing that he'd probably act in a foolish way.

It took the young hobbit a while to work up the courage to approach Estella to ask her to take a walk with him, but when he did he couldn't help but notice the bright smile that lit up her face or the excited tone in her voice, and how it only boosted his self-confidence - clearly, she was pleased that he'd asked.

"I'd love to, Merry!" She answered enthusiastically. "Perhaps after Lunch tomorrow afternoon?"

Thrilled that he had not made a fool of himself, Merry agreed; he left the Green Dragon that night with a spring in his step and a ridiculous grin that reached his cheeks.

Because it was the gentle-hobbit thing to do, and Merry was brought up to be a gentleman around lasses, they started with just spending time in one another's company on walks. Sometimes they would just walk along the roads and talk, while on others - if they were feeling particularly energetic that evening - they'd have some fun playing in Farmer Maggot's crops, just like they used to as children; it was peaceful bliss to just be able to relax around her.

"So?" Estella asked one afternoon during their post-lunch walks; this particular stroll had lead them near to a field of crops, and so they had sat in the grass to soak up the summer sun. "Are you going to tell me what you were doing while you were gone? You know, with Frodo and the others."

Merry, admittedly, didn't want to answer this because he knew the answer would be long and probably disheartening to talk about; instead, he simply replied with, "It's a long story."

She rolled her eyes at him and lightly slapped his arm. "I guessed as much! If you don't want to talk about it in detail, then I understand...to be honest, no one's been having an easy time lately." There was a hint of sadness in her voice as she said this, her smile fading just a touch.

"It wasn't an all-around pleasant trip," Merry agreed quietly, hoping to distract her from feeling too down. "As you and most of the Shire know, we four hobbits earned our fair share of battle wounds and scars." He briefly thought back to his own on the Battle of Pelennor Fields after injuring the Witch-King, and how he had eventually recovered under Aragorn's care. "It...It took a lot out of us."

Estella looked sympathetic at this admission, but she didn't comment on it further; she knew that Merry wouldn't want her to. "It must be rather exciting for you nowadays, preparing to be the next Master of Buckland already."

"It's more of a precautionary measure," He told her, looking out at the tall grass around them. "My father is still strong and able, so it will be a while before I succeed him." He didn't particularly want to take that place that soon, to be honest - not if it meant his father's death. "What about your family? How are you managing?"

Estella gave a small sigh. "Not too well - we're slowly earning everything back, but it will be a while until we are as we were before."

As the walks continued, so did the weight of their conversations; soon Merry was confiding things that only Pippin and Frodo had known beforehand, about the things he liked, what he feared, and even - after a couple of months when their closeness was undeniable - more in-depth details of the adventure he'd been on. He told Estella of the great Ent, Treebeard, of how he and Pippin had drunk the Entwash and subsequently grown taller than average; he described to her each of the members of the Fellowship, delighting her with tales of King Aragorn, the elf Legolas and Gimili the dwarf - he even told her of Boromir, and how he had saved his and Pippin's lives. Merry couldn't help but lean in close and tell her in a near-whisper of King Théoden of Rohan, of the elves in Rivendell...and, one late afternoon on a picnic, he went on to tell her of Éowyn.

"Éowyn?" Estella repeated, looking surprised when he admitted this to her.

Merry nodded, a smile gracing his face as he remembered her. "She was a Shieldmaiden of Rohan and...one of the bravest people I've ever met. They wouldn't let her go to war, though, even though she had more skill than most of the men in Théoden's army... They didn't exactly let me go to war either, you know," He admitted sheepishly. "But Éowyn dressed as a man and rode out to war, taking me with her; she fought so fiercely, Estella, so courageous! She defeated the Lord of the Ringwraiths without fear, better than any man could have, and she was the most incredible person I met on the quest; I feel honoured to have served by her side."

While he spoke Estella had just listened patiently, eyes wide in wonder; she was clearly as enchanted by these stories as Merry had been when experiencing them. "She sounds beautifully fearless - amazing, Merry. You are clearly fond of her, and I would love to meet her one day...if that were possible."

"Of course it's possible," He said easily, grinning at her as he reached for a sandwich. "I've been writing to her of late - maybe, when the time is right, I will travel to visit her; and I will take you with me, if you want."

Estella looked touched, and she didn't speak for a full minute; instead, the two sat in companionable silence with their picnic, looking out at the Shire from their position on the hill. Finally she looked at him in an almost embarrassed way, clearly contemplating something.

"I really like you, Merry."

Merry swallowed the lump of sandwich in his mouth, suddenly feeling close to nauseous. "Oh yeah? I really like you too, Estella."

"No, I mean to say..." She suddenly went rather pink. "I know it's stupid to presume...of course it's not like I've been building it up to be...but I think I have feelings for you, Merry." When he said nothing, she continued in a rather defeated tone. "I know of course that we are friends and nothing more - you are friends with my brother too - and it's silly for me to feel like this, but I can't help it...we've been spending so much time together, and-"

"Estella," He interrupted quickly. "I feel exactly the same. That was why I wanted to go on walks with you - because every time I look at you I get this strange feeling in my belly, like butterflies." He paused for a moment, thinking to himself so that he would act rationally. "If you don't object, I'd...I'd very much like to court you."

Despite the situation, she still raised an eyebrow at him. "Court?"

"Well yes, that's the proper word of it after all," Merry chuckled; it had sounded a little bit ridiculous to his own ears, saying the word 'court'. "But I think you understand what I am trying to ask you."

Estella just started to smile unabashedly at him. "I do. Merry, I'd like nothing more."


	2. Took Charm

Diamond was perhaps the only lass that Pippin ever truly felt a connection to; while he had become friendly with most of the female hobbits in the Shire - including Rosie and Estella - there was something about Diamond of Long Cleeve that Pippin found himself drawn to.

His parents had been hoping for a romance to blossom between the two of them, though it was not pushed; a union would reunite the two sides of the Took family, and it would be in an appropriate way because they were barely distant relations. Pippin was only young, though, and so he had no intentions of settling down too quickly for he was still not quite of age after the quest.

But Diamond was beautiful, mischievous, cheeky and the only lass that Pippin felt truly spoke her mind openly; she really did measure up to her name, in his eyes, for when she spoke of something she was passionate about her eyes lit up and her smile was as bright as a jewel. While she had a temper that could have rivalled that of any dragon, she was patient with him; she didn't roll her eyes at him if he had a clumsy moment, instead laughing along with him until they were both quite out of air. Some evenings they would sit side-by-side companionably under one of the many trees growing in Hobbiton, reading or talking quietly; occasionally they would look up and smile at each other silently in a content way, and it never felt awkward for they seemed to just understand what the other was thinking without it being said.

Of course, Merry had teased him mercilessly for weeks after discovering of Pippin's affections for Diamond; the older hobbit would grin and ruffle his hair, exclaiming in a high-pitched voice, "Pip's in love! Pip's in love!"

Pippin just smiled good-naturedly, going slightly pink, because it was true. He then turned the subject around by announcing knowingly, "And how are things between you and a certain Miss Bolger?"

Merry stopped teasing, having the good grace to go red himself. "Yes, things are well," He answered, slight hesitation in his voice. His cousin gave a nod and began to drink from his mug of ale. "Her family's farm is doing well; their crops are growing back nicely, and they'll be able to start selling the harvest." He paused. "You know, Pip, I think I would very much like to marry Estella soon."

Pippin immediately choked and spluttered on his drink. "I beg your pardon?!"

His friend and cousin just shrugged, looking down at his own mug. "Why not? You know as well as I that my parents want me to marry - and they can't force me to marry a lass I don't want to, that's for certain."

"No," The younger hobbit agreed, regaining composure. "But if they don't approve of it, then couldn't they possibly...well, disown you? So you don't become the new Master of Buckland?"

"I think they'll understand," Merry said, although he didn't actually look too convinced. "We forget, Pip, that our parents were once young and in love; they can't begrudge us for doing what is natural."

This was true; hobbits were known for loving very strongly, and in some cases they only fell in love once because of their loyalty to one another. In some cases a hobbit may have married a second - or even third - time, but it was highly rare and not particularly looked well upon.

"So when are you going to tell them?"

Merry gave another shrug, not looking keen on the idea. "Not too soon, as I'll have to see if I can warm them to the idea first. If they don't..." He trailed off, but it was evident in his face what he would have done; love was not something a hobbit ignored easily. "Either way, Pippin, I want to marry Estella - maybe not immediately, maybe not for a few months, or even a few years...but I definitely do."

 

As Pippin soon found out, he was not the only hobbit who had his eyes on Diamond; in hindsight, it was not a surprise for she was a beautiful lass - but it still made things harder for the young Took.

One such rival was Halfred Brownlock; oh, how Pippin could not stand him! He was a hobbit who was quite a few years older than Pippin - though younger than Merry - and did he have the quite the eye for Diamond! Often he would approach her and offer to take her out for a meal or drink; she always politely declined, much to Pippin's relief.

At first the two had not had to communicate; it was only when Halfred had come to ask Diamond to come out with him one evening that he saw Pippin laughing with her joyfully, a lot closer in proximity than he himself had gotten. It was safe to say that he did not take kindly to another hobbit trying to court the lass he desired, and he soon became quite a problem for Pippin.

While he was a Took and future Thain of the Shire, Pippin was still very young and therefore seen as less of a threat than a nuisance - that was, except by Halfred Brownlock. Merry had been sitting with his cousin in the Green Dragon when it happened, happily enjoying mugs of ale and chuckling together; the doors had slammed open, nearly inaudible due to the riotous noise being caused by the celebratory hobbits, and then Halfred had appeared at their table and grabbed Pippin by the collar of his shirt.

This alone was enough to cause alarm in the Green Dragon; hobbits rarely broke out into large fights, even after drinking heartily. For a moment everyone had to wonder if the young hobbit was going to be hit, for it certainly looked that way, but then the two were separated by a now-tall and sober Merry Brandybuck.

"I think you should leave Pippin alone," He muttered darkly to the brown-haired hobbit; maybe it was the added height, or maybe the harsh tone in his voice, but either way Halfred released Pippin with a glare at the two. "Now what is the matter, Halfred?"

"Tell your cousin to stay away from my lass!" He snapped. "He needs to learn to leave things alone that aren't his!"

Pippin was, of course, outraged by this; for a start, he had done absolutely nothing wrong - if she had been betrothed then he could see why this would have angered some, but that was not the case. Secondly, he did not approve of any lass being talked about in such a way that implied them to be inferior or posessions in any way, let alone Diamond.

"You can keep your mouth shut," He said viciously. surprising even himself. "A lass isn't property, and you can't tell someone to stay away from her if it's not what she wants."

Merry waved a hand at him to quieten. "Pippin's right," He agreed shortly. "There's no need to cause an argument over a misunderstanding, anyhow, so why don't you sit down with a drink and forget the whole thing?"

Halfred hadn't sat down for a drink, instead grumbling and shuffling out of the establishment darkly; Pippin, on the other hand, didn't want to leave it at that.

"Did you hear the way he talked about her?" He whispered furiously to Merry as they sat down once more, careful not to attract anymore attention. "She's not his, anyway; she won't even go out with him, though he keeps asking."

Merry suddenly got a rather strange look on his face. "She? Her? Who are we talking about?"

"Diamond, of course!"

"Why, Pip," Merry said wryly. "I'd have never thought it true; you do indeed like her in that way! It's happening to you too!"

Pippin was not in the mood to be teased. "Defending a lass doesn't mean I want to marry her," He stated, though he could feel his face heat up slightly. "It just means that I am trying to be a perfect gentle-hobbit." He paused for a moment, and his ears tinged pink to match his cheeks. "Although, I do think she is very good-looking no doubt...and I do like spending time with her..."

"That settles it," His cousin announced triumphantly. "Pippin, you need to ask to see her before any other hobbit does - especially Halfred - and steals your chance...and don't give me that look!" He chided playfully, nudging Pippin slightly. "It's not as scary as you'd think, Pip. If she's got a keen mind on her then she'll say yes when you ask."

But what if she doesn't?

 

True to everything else in his life, he and Diamond's getting together was not what would be thought of as entirely traditional.

Pippin had been walking her home after they had met in the markets and helping to carry her baskets of food home; they weren't talking about much in particular, just recent events and jokes to make each other laugh - they even arranged for a picnic at lunch for the following afternoon. When they were nearing her smial, however, Diamond suddenly changed the subject rather abruptly and seriously - and not in an entirely bad way either.

"Pippin, I'm going to be rather forward with you," She started, looking at him directly. "And if it comes across as rude or inappropriate then I'm sorry, but this has been on my mind for weeks and I need to share it." He had turned to her then, listening patiently. "We've been spending a lot of time together over the past few weeks; is there something more behind that than just a simple friendship?"

"I wouldn't say our friendship is simple," Pippin disagreed - this moment had come far more quickly than he had hoped. "Most aren't if you really think about it...but I think you are right in thinking that there is something more."

She sent him a knowing smile. "I thought so, but I didn't want to say at first in case it was the wrong assumption. You know, Peregrin Took," She began amusedly. "You are rather frustrating at times when we're together."

"Frustrating?" He asked, alarmed by this. "In what way?"

"There were many times where I thought that you might ask to begin a courtship - or whatever you'd like to call it - but then you never did. I can't be sure of where our relationship is because I'm confused about what your feelings are for me." She gave him an expectant look. "Well? What are your feelings, just so that I know?"

Where to begin? He could launch into a long unrehearsed speech about what he liked about her, though this was something he knew he'd later be embarrassed over (especially if Merry found out - Lord help him then); maybe he could keep his answer short, and just tell her straight. Yes, he decided quickly, he'd get it over and done with and then everything would be fine.

"Well...if you'd like to then I don't mind."

In hindsight, this may not have been the most appropriate response.

"What? Pippin, you're so infuriating sometimes!" Diamond laughed, only a little annoyed. "That tells me nothing about how you feel, and you bloody well know it! You don't court someone just because you 'don't mind' them - it's because you want to."

"I know," He amended hurriedly, briefly wondering why he couldn't be charming or say the right thing even once. "What I meant to say was that I really like you - I do! I mean, you're smart...a-and you make me laugh almost as much as Merry does sometimes. Not to forget that you're so beautiful and one of the prettiest lasses I've ever seen...oh, and whenever you spoke to that Halfred! My, that really annoyed me because I could see that you could do so much better than him; after all, he talks about you like a piece of land! None of the other lasses are as dear to me, Diamond, and...and I'm going to stop talking now."

So, apparently the rambling on and on had been his back-up plan; he just hoped that it worked better than his attempt to keep it short.

Throughout this whole speech, Diamond had watched and listened with a smile growing on her face. "So would I be right in assuming that you do think of me in that way?"

His red face answered that clearly enough. "Mmm...But of course it's not all down to me; it matters about your thoughts and feelings too...which are...?"

She gave a laugh and shook her head. "Oh, Pippin; do you really think I would be asking you these questions in such a direct way if I didn't?"

He suddenly became increasingly aware of her small hand slipping into his and she was leaning in quite close. "So...So are we together? Can I court you?" Pippin asked cluelessly.

"Finally!" She breathed, as if a great weight had been lifted - but the grin on her face implied the joke behind it. "Yes, Pippin, yes you can. I'll see you tomorrow for that picnic you promised - just try not to get your waistcoat in a twist over it."

Before he could even move, Diamond had pecked his cheek goodbye and continued up the garden path to her home, leaving Pippin stunned in the best kind of way. For once, his mistakes hadn't completely ruined everything - in fact, she seemed to actually find it endearing.

Well, he thought to himself highly as he headed for home. I can't imagine Halfred will be pleased with this development - and there's nothing he can do about it!


	3. Hurt

Merry was visiting Sam and Rosie when the news came in; in the garden outside he was holding young Primrose while little Frodo chattered absent-mindedly to him, begging him to join in the game with his siblings. Elanor, a true lady, was watching from her seat bemusedly while keeping a close eye on the smaller children in case they fell and needed comfort; Rose and Goldilocks had at first attempted to copy her to appear mature, but then found the lure of fun too hard to resist. Pippin was with his and Merry's namesakes while they begged for tales of adventure and triumph, and occasionally he would look up at Sam and Merry so as to join in the conversation.

Everything was happy and peaceful - and for good reason too, for there was much to celebrate: while Pippin had managed a proposal of marriage to Diamond (a successful one at that), Merry and Estella were overjoyed to be expecting their first babe in the upcoming Spring.

"Daddy! Who is that coming up the path?"

Sam raised his head at Daisy's question and frowned when he didn't recognize the hobbit approaching the smial at a rather fast pace; he had tied a horse to a fence nearby and was rushing to meet them.

Merry, however, let out a small noise of recognition. "Ah! Not to worry, it's just someone from the hall; one of the servants. They're probably bringing a message - I'll go and see."

Ignoring the whine of protest that Primrose gave as he lifted her off his lap, Merry weaved his way through the large group of children, giving Pippin a nudge with his knee good-naturedly and grinning to himself; that smile soon faded, however, when he saw that the servant who had arrived was looking rather worn-out and grim.

"Master Merry!" He panted heavily, starting to pull him back down the path desperately. "You must return to Brandy Hall...it's the Mistress!"

All colour fled Merry's cheeks. "What? Estella? What's happened? Tell me!"

The shorter hobbit swallowed thickly, clearly about to say something unpleasant. "There's been an accident, sir; the Mistress and Lady Diamond of Long Cleeve were riding, and...and the ponies must have been spooked, for they reared and threw them off." He cast a look over Merry's shoulder at Pippin, who was watching with a puzzled look. "Lady Diamond is fine, thank goodness, but...well, I think it would be in you and your cousin's best interests to return as soon as possible."

There was absolutely no question for it, of course; after a panicked and subdued goodbye to Sam and Rosie - the children watching quietly - Merry and Pippin were gone.

* * *

The whole journey home had been quiet; Merry and Pippin had not spoken a word even to each other, their minds occupied with getting home to their lasses to make sure that they were safe and sound. Pippin, however, did wish that they would speak for he was filled with dread at the thought of something terrible happening to his betrothed; they were only young, he worried, and to lose her would possibly break him.

When he entered the hall, Pippin was relieved to see Diamond waiting for them; though she looked nervous and slightly worse for wear, there was no doubt that she was not suffering any long-term injuries - in fact, she was stood waiting for them to arrive, and the moment she saw Pippin she reached her arms out for him.

Relieved, Pippin had to slightly stoop as he wrapped his arms around her. "You're okay," He breathed heavily. "Lord, Di, I was so worried...but you're fine..."

"Yes," She agreed, and it was then that he realized she was close to tears. "Yes, I'm fine, but Estella...Oh God, Pippin...there was so much...it happened so quickly," She tried to explain, and he nodded in understanding. "One minute the ponies were as calm as anything, and the next they were throwing us off; we're so lucky that we weren't too far away, and that there were others keeping an eye on us from the hall."

Though extremely glad to learn that she was alright, he had to ask - for Merry's sake. "Diamond? Is Estella...well..."

Diamond looked away in an almost guilty way. "I believe so; it's just that...that we're not sure about the baby."

The baby. Pippin tried not to feel sick at the thought of the situation; if the baby was harmed or even _lost_ (he shuddered at this) then this posed a risk for Estella too, and if Merry were to lose both in just one day...there was no telling what that kind of grief would do to a hobbit, even one as strong as Merry.

"This is all my fault," Diamond sniffed sadly, reaching up to wipe at her eyes. "It was my idea to go riding in the first place - if I hadn't suggested it, then Estella and the baby would both be safe."

"It's not your fault," Pippin tried to assure her softly, holding her tighter in his arms. "No one can be blamed; you didn't know that the horses would get spooked and do that, and neither did Estella. Please don't blame yourself." He took a deep breath. "All we can do is hope that they'll be okay."

_Please let them be._

* * *

"Master Merry-"

"How is she?" He interrupted quickly, straightening up; he towered above the female hobbit who had exited the room, and yet he had never looked more like a tween then he did in that moment of vulnerability. "Is she...Is she..."

"She's alive," She told him slowly, trying to give him a small smile - but there was more to come, judging by the sad gleam in her eyes. "She's luckily not too injured...but the baby...I'm afraid that the babe is lost. I'm so sorry; we did all that we could, but it wasn't enough."

* * *

She was half-asleep when he entered; quietly, so as to not disturb her, he had shut the door and simply stood on the spot for a few moments while watching his wife as she focused her eyes on sky outside the window.

She was still his Estella; the same fair brown hair, the same pale skin with pink cheeks and dark blue eyes with long lashes. Even in that moment she was still the lass he knew and loved - even with the tear tracks streaking down her face, and the small scratches on her shoulders and neck from the fall, and in an odd way she was still the same beautiful wife he had left that morning with his cousin's fiancée.

But now there was no swell on her stomach - no kicking, living babe to mark the beginning of their family, no babe he would hold in his arms and call 'son' or 'daughter', or to go on to become the new Master of Buckland after him.

When her eyes flickered over to him, dull and somewhat emotionless, he did not attempt a smile or grin; instead he stepped forwards to sit on the bed beside her. She did not object when he linked their fingers together, nor did she squeeze back in any way.

For a moment they shared a small look; it was a look of heartbreak, pain, sorrow - it was more painful than being injured by the Witch King of Angmar, though in a different way, and there was nothing that could have possibly been said.

Finally, Estella looked away and let out a great shuddering breath. "I'm so sorry, Merry."

"It's not your fault," He told her softly and sincerely, voice threatening to crack. "It's not. It...It happens sometimes, and there is nothing to be done; I'm thankful that you are okay though."

"It's not okay, Merry!" She gritted out, snapping her head around to glare at him weakly. "I am not okay, and this whole situation isn't either! None of this is okay, and you know it! If only I hadn't been so stupid as to suggest going for a ride - not only did I put myself at risk, but Diamond too...and now the baby is _gone_."

Merry tried not to flinch at her tone, or her harsh words; he was in no way prepared to hear such things. "Stell, how were you to know that the ponies would rear? Besides, you took Snowfell - she is one of the calmest ponies in the stables by far...It is not your fault."

And he truly believed that it wasn't; not only because he trusted her and knew that these things happened, but also for his own personal reasons. He had told her them before, of course, but he decided that perhaps it would be best to just remind her so that she knew his words were true.

"My mother lost many babes before I was born," Merry told her quietly, giving her small hand a squeeze in his. "How she had the strength to carry on, I do not know, but what I do know is that such troubles made them so much more thankful for my health when I arrived, and that I was so much more dearer to them." He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "I love you, Estella, and this is in no way your fault - nor was it my mother's when she miscarried before me."

Estella finally gave a small squeeze back with her weak fingers. "So you are not disappointed in me?"

"Disappointed?" He repeated, surprised by such a description. "Disappointed only in the...the loss of our babe, Stell, but not in you; you're strong and I know that we will be able to get through this together, no matter how impossible it seems now. And - when the time is right - we will try again and everything will truly be alright again."

And she was _there_ , wrapping her arms around him and crying steadily into his torso as she curled into him. "I love you, Merry, so much.."

"And I love you too," He repeated, voice finally cracking - and that was it. He, too, was starting to cry as he cradled her to him, burying himself into the softness of her curls and allowing the smell of home to envelop him comfortingly as his feelings finally poured out.

Though the journey ahead looked long and miserable, at least he had her to support him through it.

* * *

Over a year later in the Summer, Merry was about to lose his mind when the healer entered the hall to announce the news.

"Congratulations, Master Brandybuck! You have a son!"


	4. Nightmares

Though he would deny it, it was common knowledge in the Took smial that Pippin - who was the youngest of the Tooks and only son - was prone to nightmares more than most other hobbit lads his age.

It was only the usual nightmares that most hobbit lads had, nothing too dark or twisted of course; monsters lurking underneath the bed, the trolls from the tales that Uncle Bilbo told him and the other children as well as dragons from a far off land...while greatly intriguing, it was also somewhat mysterious and scary to young Pippin. He never screamed during his nightmares, nor embarrassed himself in an undignified way - his family only knew when he called out for them during the night, craving to see that they were safe.

His older sisters teased him for it affectionately, of course; he was the true babe of the family, as the youngest, and so he was more than used to the high-pitched giggles and well-intentioned coos directed at him anyway, but it still made his face go pink.

"Dragons? Uncle Bilbo says there haven't been dragons for thousands of years," Pearl would tease affectionately.

"Well," Pervinca laughed, clutching her sides. "Apart from the one he talked to when he went with the dwarves!"

Pippin shook his head. "No, he told me that there hasn't been dragons here in The Shire for a thousand years; there are still dragons in other places!"

His mother, Eglantine, laughed and ruffled her only son's hair. "I shouldn't worry about dragons in these parts, dear; they have much bigger things to worry about than us smallfolk, I assure you."

Even so, Pippin made a mental note to keep on the look out - just in case.

* * *

_He is dreaming when he sees mountains; when he sees castles fit for Kings of Middle-Earth, when he sees the fires in Moria, and definitely when he sees the blood pouring over the land as the battle rages on. Both Orc and Man are unsafe from the massacre, he realizes, and his sword is dripping with blood. His friends - oh, Frodo, Sam, Merry, Faramir, the list goes on - are caught up in the wave, unable to fight back, and he cannot reach them no matter how hard he fights and stabs at the sea of enemies between them._

_And then there's the eye, that eye that never stopped watching, not even to blink, and it was staring at him. It was probing, waiting for the answer, looking down on him. It knew all of his faults, knew all of the stupid things he'd done; it knew that he didn't deserve to be on this journey, not with the likes of great men like Aragorn, or elves trained for this like Legolas...he didn't even really have the brains that Frodo or the other hobbits had. It was probing, hurting, torturing, never letting him go-_

"Pippin!"

Pippin jolted awake and opened his eyes to see Merry looking down at him with a worried expression; he was holding a lit candle in one hand, the other securely on Pippin's arm. The two had been staying in a smial not far from Crickhollow together since they had returned from their adventure - though they both had their own homes to return to, they had found that they didn't want to be separated just yet, not after all they had been through. Apart from that, they were needed in the area to assist in rebuilding the destroyed parts of the Shire.

"Merry!" He breathed, relieved to see his cousin. "What's going on?"

"You were dreaming, Pip," Merry whispered, putting a hand to the younger hobbit's forehead. "You were thrashing and fighting in your sleep; is everything alright?"

Pippin gave a small sigh. "No, Merry, I do not think so."

Giving a nod of understanding, Merry sat on the bed with his cousin and placed the candle on the table beside them. "I see. Bad dreams about the fighting, hey?" When the other hobbit nodded, he gave a heavy sigh. "I know how you feel, Pip...I get those flashes too, and I'm not always asleep when it happens. But we did the right thing, I believe, and we saved the many people of Middle-Earth."

"It's not that," Pippin muttered quietly, looking quite unwell. "I know that we were doing the right thing, saving Middle-Earth, but the images still haunt me. I never thought of killing anyone before we left, and now that's all I can remember when I close my eyes." He looked down at the bed sheets sadly. "How are we meant to go back to normal, Merry? How can we, knowing what we did in war...knowing of the people we have met? Everything seems so small and insignificant now compared to the adventure; it feels surreal."

Merry also looked down in agreement. "I don't know. I've been wondering that since we first sat down in the Green Dragon after the Scourging was over with a pint of ale; I thought that all I wanted was to be back here - back home - but now I'm not so sure."

Relieved that he was not alone in feeling this way, Pippin sat up and wrapped an arm around his cousin while breathing heavily. "Is it always going to be like this, Merry? Bad dreams and wishing for the chance to be normal again?"

"I...I don't know Pip," Merry answered honestly. "I hope that it won't be."

Pippin took another deep breath before speaking again, closing his eyes tightly. "He was watching me, Merry. I saw him again...and he wasn't happy with me. I can still feel it; the way he was probing...I still feel _violated_ about it. Dirty...used and useless."

"Do not speak that way," Merry said sharply, his hold on his cousin tightening. After a moment, though, he seemed to soften. "It's over now, Pippin. He's gone. And you are far from useless; you are a Knight of Gondor, after all! No other hobbit has ever had such an honour before, at least not that I can remember...and you are to be Thain of the Shire! That's a very important role, Pippin; not just anyone can do it."

Pippin briefly wondered at his cousin; Merry had suddenly become much wiser than he could remember, though there was still that mischievous spark in there that made him the cousin that he loved and grew up with. It only then occurred to him that the journey had much changed them - all of them who had been a part of the Fellowship, in fact. Sam had become confident enough to ask Rosie Cotton if they could begin a courtship, he and Merry were both somewhat more mature, and Frodo...oh, dear cousin Frodo. He had changed the most, though not for the better.

"Are you feeling better now, Pip?" Merry asked, peering at his cousin's face. "You seem to have regained some colour, which is good."

Pippin suddenly felt rather foolish. "Yes, I have. Thank you, Merry; I think I'll try and sleep some more."

"Alright," His cousin said approvingly, standing and picking up the candle once more. "If you need me, then I shall be down the hall."

* * *

She was there when he woke up that one night - that one where he had the particularly dreadful nightmare that returned over and over again - while screaming for help, the most horrible images flashing across his mind and bringing him to tears.

Diamond wasted no time in taking him into her arms, cheek pressed against the top of his head as he buried himself into the crook of her neck. The position was awkward and could not have been comfortable for her, what with the fairly large sized baby bump that was protruding; but she didn't seem to care in that moment for that kind of thing, instead deciding that her husband was more important.

Pippin, on the other hand, couldn't help but feel a flood of relief as his hands pressed against the bump, running his hands over it and muttering to himself under his breath thankfully; they were safe, he told himself sternly, both Diamond and their unborn baby and so to worry was very unnecessary. But tonight it seemed to be really affecting him, and he just couldn't get it through his head that, despite his worst fears brought on by the nightmare, his growing family were safe and sound.

Diamond shushed him gently and sighed. "Will you tell me about it, Pippin? Maybe it might help?"

The thought of telling her what he'd seen in that dream - the images he'd had of her - made him feel sick. "No," He disagreed immediately. "It's not at all pleasant, Di, definitely not suitable for a hobbit lass-"

"I'm not like the other lasses, Pip," She interrupted fiercely. "I can take whatever you tell me, I can assure you. Please, Pippin; it may make you feel better to share what's troubling you."

Lord, he loved her. She was right; she was not like the other lasses, and though it might upset her he knew that she would be strong enough to take it - so he told her of the dream, trying not to shudder as he recounted it.

"It's stupid, Di, but...I remember the Scouring, the ruffians taking over...what they did to some of those poor girls..." Pippin felt a tear in his eye when he remembered; he hadn't seen it for himself, but he'd heard enough stories to imagine - and imagining was far worse. "I know that you and Estella and Rosie - most hobbit lasses - were safe, but some of them...they didn't deserve what happened to them." He took a deep breath. "I can't help it; I worry that it might happen again. I know that it won't - King Aragorn makes sure of that - but it still frightens me...what if?"

"It won't," Diamond assured him softly, running a hand through his curls comfortingly.

Pippin gave a heavy sigh. "I know, but what if, Di? This dream...it's always the same... The Shire is being attacked, a-and no one can do anything about it. We're just prisoners." He shut his eyes tightly. "I see you, Di, in the dream. They...they do _horrible_ things to you...beat you, strip you..." His voice broke. "And all I can do is watch as they...they do it...and you're begging for help but I can't..."

"It'll never happen," Diamond told him firmly, although she did look somewhat paler than a moment before. "Sam won't let that happen, Merry won't - _you_ won't let it happen. I know you; you'd fight to the death to protect everyone - regardless of hobbit, man, elf or dwarf."

"I know," Pippin agreed shakily, nodding his head. "I'm sorry for waking you, Di, but I just worry - it is silly, I know, it's stupid-"

"It's not stupid," Diamond interrupted. "If it's making you worry, then it's not stupid. Not necessary, maybe, but far from stupid." She gave a sigh. "It's over now, love. It was only a dream - a nasty dream, yes, but still only a dream."

They were silent for a moment, just lying there with Pippin's head tucked underneath Diamond's chin, and both of them with a hand on her belly. It was only after Pippin felt a slight shift from the baby that he managed to compose himself properly.

"I'm sorry I woke the both of you up, Di. You need to be sleeping," He apologized, though his eyes never moved from the bump.

Diamond shook her head. "I was barely asleep anyway - the babe seems to enjoy moving very much. He's going to be very much like his father, I can tell."

Pippin was content for all of half a second before it fully registered in his head what his wife had just said. " _He_? _His_? Is there something you know that I don't, Di?"

"No," She laughed, highly amused as he sat up to look at her. "I just have a feeling...mother's intuition. I'm not certain though. Why? Do you not want a boy?"

Pippin grinned at her in the darkness. "You know I don't mind whether it's a lass or a lad, so long as they're in good health." He gave the baby bump an affectionate rub. "After all, it's taken us a while to get here; I'd be a fool to care over such trivial matters."

"Well, you are a Fool of a Took," Diamond teased, although he knew it to be in a loving way. "But you're my fool, so I'll put up with it."


	5. New Life

"Oh, for goodness sake, Merry! She'll be fine!"

Merry just continued to pace; his appearance had become very dishevelled over the last hour and a half, curls in his face, jacket left unbuttoned and open. He was pacing the corridor outside of his and Estella's bedroom, hands in his pockets and head down as he thought to himself; Pippin had no choice but to watch his cousin worry about what was going on inside the room.

At first Merry had demanded to be in there, doing all but physically fighting with the midwives to do so; it was only when they told him it would be better for Estella's health if he stayed out of the way that he relented. Pippin had, of course, also been denied access to the room and so had instead decided to wait with his cousin in the hopes of calming him down somewhat; he did think it somewhat unfair that Diamond had been allowed inside, though, but the midwives had told him it was because she was a lass - this was a lass thing, apparently.

Well if the birth-room was a 'lass thing' then waiting outside and panicking was what the male hobbits did, it appeared.

"Pacing won't help," Pippin tried again, though he didn't leave his seat. "I think they know what they're doing, you know; it's not the first time a lass has had to have a baby, and I suspect it won't be the last."

Merry spun around to face him, and Pippin was alarmed to see traces of anger on his cousin's face. "You don't get it, Pip! After what happened last year when she fell..." He stopped and looked down at the floor. "I worry about her. I know she tells me not to, and that she's not some delicate thing I can easily break, but I just...I need to know that she will be alright."

"And she will be," Pippin said, although he himself wasn't completely sure; there were always risks, and they could only hope that all would go well. "She's a tough one, your Stella; she's never once complained to me or Di about being pregnant, not even when she could barely walk."

Merry allowed himself a small smile. "Yes, that's her; she never wants me to know if something's too hard or hurting her - she says she can put up with it herself." He hesitated for a moment, pondering over something in his mind. "It's not just her, Pippin...it's the baby. What if something goes wrong and it effects the baby?"

Pippin had no answer to this, for he himself did not know - he could not even relate his own experiences to Merry, seeing as he and Diamond had married only six months earlier during the Yuletide festivities. In short, he was rather useless in that moment.

Instead, he stood and put an arm on Merry's shoulder. "We should go for a walk, get some fresh air."

"And leave Estella in there?" Merry asked, utterly shocked by such a suggestion. "What if the baby is born before we're back?! Or something goes wrong and I'm not here? I can't, Pip-"

"We won't go far," Pippin promised calmly, and he meant it. "We shan't be longer than five minutes; just a short walk, nothing more." He squeezed his older cousin's shoulder. "I won't let you miss this, Merry. _I_ don't want to miss it either. But we cannot stay cooped up in this hall all afternoon waiting for news. It's not healthy - and it will drive you crazy."

Merry looked torn, and his eyes drifted over to the door; no one opened it, and all that he could hear was the sound of a few voices talking to one another. So far there hadn't been any screams or cries yet, so...surely five minutes would not hurt?

"Alright," He agreed reluctantly, looking back at Pippin. "Five minutes."

* * *

Once outside of the hall, Pippin pulled out his pipe and lit it before taking a puff; it had been a number of days since he'd last indulged in the pipe, and with all of the stressful events going on at the moment, it wasn't a moment too soon that he took to his pipe once more.

"You're not smoking?" Pippin asked when he saw Merry just watching him.

Merry gave a shrug. "No. I haven't really taken the pipe lately; not since Estella..." The word _miscarried_ died on his lips. "Well, it doesn't matter. I'm not much in the mood for pipeweed at the moment."

Pippin didn't look convinced. "Not in the mood for pipeweed?" He asked incredously. "I would have thought that now is the perfect time!" But he decided not to press further about it; after all, Merry was clearly not thinking properly as it was, what with his wife being in labour. "Alright, suit yourself; more for me."

As promised, they only walked around the outside of the hall in a simple lap that took no more than a few minutes; as they walked, Merry was silent with his hands tucked in his pockets, head bowed down. Pippin kept sneaking glances at his cousin, slightly concerned, but continued to enjoy his pipe as they strolled together side-by-side.

"It's actually a rather nice day," Pippin muttered to himself after a couple of minutes of silence. "I wonder what the little lads are up to today; causing mischief, I suppose. Ah, I miss those days, don't you, Merry?"

Merry didn't answer, and Pippin looked at his older cousin - he was extremely alarmed when he saw that Merry was _crying_ ; Merry hardly ever cried, not even when he had been a young tween, not even in nightmares.

"Merry, what's wrong?" He asked, putting a hand on his cousin's shoulder. They had stopped walking now, and the sun beat down on them as Pippin looked at Merry's face, and Merry looked down at the floor. "I know you're scared, but...but...but just think about when this is all over. You and Estella shall have a beautiful little babe - and they'll both be healthy," He added firmly. "I know that they will, Merry; I may be a fool, but I'm an honest fool."

Merry gave a sigh, wiping at his eyes. "I know. I'm sorry. I've just been worrying too much over the last month, that's all, and it's gotten to me. I'm sorry," He repeated, looking rather ashamed in himself. "It was silly of me to cry."

"You're tired," Pippin said kindly. "I will probably be the same one day when I'm in your position - if I'm ever in your position. I suppose it's something that we gentle-hobbits do, worrying over our lasses even if we don't need to; why break tradition?" Merry tried to hide his smile but failed miserably. "See? You should be happy at the moment; I know you and Estella have been eager to have a baby - and now you will!"

"If only it were as easy as that," Merry agreed ruefully. For a moment he just looked at his cousin before smiling. "Thank you, Pip. What would I do without you?"

Pippin grinned. "I know, I know; I'm rather fantastic. Now come on: the lasses will murder us in our sleep if we miss that baby being born...and while I can't speak for Estella, I can certainly say that I don't doubt Diamond would indeed murder me."

* * *

Merry managed to stay calm - for all of twenty minutes until Estella had to start pushing; once he heard those screams, he gave up composure and began pacing once more. Pippin only sighed, shaking his head at his older cousin - and everyone said _he_ was the foolish one!

Having said that, he did feel somewhat nervous himself - just in case.

It was a few more hours before any news came through, and Merry had been wearing the floors down with his pacing; he looked very much like he was about to go mad when one of the midwives entered into the hall, with one of the clearest smiles that either of them had ever seen.

"Congratulations, Master Brandybuck! You have a son!"

And just like that Merry was reduced to tears again - though now it was tears of joy and not of sadness. He was even further overjoyed when the midwife announced that both mother and baby were doing extremely well, and that he could go and visit them both very shortly. Diamond also came out after a few minutes, looking rather tired but pleased nonetheless as she went to sit next to her husband.

"It really went alright?" Pippin asked quietly, so that Merry would not hear.

She nodded and smiled. "Yes, thankfully. A boy - and a beautiful one at that. He really favours Merry, particularly in the eyes, although I think he'll have Estella's fair curls."

A grin curled Pippin's mouth at the thought of a tiny child looking alike to Merry running around the Shire causing mischief. When the boy was of a certain age, perhaps a tween, then he'd be up to the same tricks that Merry and Pippin had been up to at that age - stealing crops, sneaking extras when his mother wasn't looking, trying to have a crafty puff of his father's pipe when no one was looking.

Suddenly, Pippin had the image of another child - one that looked like a combination of himself and Diamond - running around the hills, laughing with Merry's lad as the two of them teamed up to pull pranks or jokes on unsuspecting hobbits in the fields. Not necessarily a boy though, he thought to himself; one of Sam's daughters was very much a troublemaker when she played outdoors, racing after her brothers with glee.

What if?

* * *

Merry was so unbelievably relieved when he entered the room and saw Estella sitting up against the headboard and cradling a small bundle in a blanket; she looked up as he entered and smiled tiredly at him - it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. It didn't matter that she was still sweating from the exertion of bringing a new life into the world or that her curls were an absolute mess because his wife was alright and holding their newly born son in her arms.

"Stell...

"He's beautiful, Merry," She told him blissfully, and she seemed to glow with happiness. "Come and see him."

Merry carefully approached the bed, gently sitting down beside her and peering down at the baby curiously. The baby was a healthy pink with wonderfully round cherub cheeks, a pristine nose, a smattering of fair hair that would curl as it got longer...Merry's heart swelled as he thought to himself that this was _his_ son, his and Estella's, something they had brought into the world together. He was indeed a most beautiful babe, Merry thought, and he felt his heart swell with both pride and joy.

"He is so wonderful, isn't he?" Merry told his wife, trying not to tear up as he reached to stroke the baby's cheek with his finger gently. "May I perhaps hold him?"

Estella laughed quietly and she nodded. "I was about to ask you to take him - my arms are extremely tired at the moment."

Carefully, so as to not disturb the sleeping babe, Merry took his son into his arms and smiled down at him joyfully. "Hello there...aren't you a handsome young lad? You're going to be popular with the lasses, I can tell..."

"Merry! He's barely an hour old!"

But she was laughing, and Merry couldn't help but laugh with her too. "Alright, maybe when you're older we can talk about that...for now, your mother is the only lass you need to worry about - and a lovely one at that." He turned to Estella and grinned. "He _is_ beautiful. I love you both so much, Stell..."

Thank goodness Pippin wasn't in the room, because there was no doubt of the teasing his cousin would give him if he saw this.


End file.
